Harry Bootleg Potter (no spoilers)

- There's no way for you to go to the Death Tower, you don't have your broom, there're no roads, and to cross the sea you're gonna need a bigger boat. - said Ron to Hermione

- Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

- What do you mean?

- Elementary, my dear Ron. Don't you know that if you build it, he will come. I built this whistle and with it Forrest the Bird will take me there.

- No! You can't go!

- Look, Ron, I can see you're really upset about this, but I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

Hermione whistle and Forrest appear in less than two minutes
- Please don't go!

- Don't you worry, I'll be back.

- So do you want a go to some place like Bolivia?- said Forrest The Bird

- No, I need to go to the Death Tower, so run, Forrest, run! Harry needs my help

- Kid, the next time I say, "Let's go someplace like Bolivia," let's go someplace like Bolivia. That tower is The horror... the horror.

As soon as Hermione arrives in the Death Tower she meets Harry

- Harry... my precious!!

- Hermione, what are you doing here?

- We all go a little mad sometimes.

- Hermione, we have a problem

- What is the problem? I want the truth!

- You can't handle the truth!

- Harry, let's go to Kansas! There's no place like home.

- I can't go, I need to confront him, but don't forget... we'll always have Paris

- Harry, Harry... Harry, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

- Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Harry Potter goes through the door and finally meets Voldemort for what shall be their last battle.

- Potter, Harry Potter.

- You talkin' to me?

- Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

- Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

- You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?

- Go ahead, make my day.

- Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Voldemort fly in Harry's direction, but he dodges with a magic move.

- Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

- Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father.

- He told me enough! It was you who killed him.

- No. I am your father.

- No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!

- Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

- Noooooooooooooooooo

- Forget it, Harry. It's Chinatown.